China Surprise
by MirageSama
Summary: Wufei is convinced Duo has planned a surprise party for him. And he thoroughly dislikes it! Or does he...? No pairings, possible slight AU, possible OOC, humor


China Surprise

By: Mirage

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, nor am I making any profit or financial gain from the making, publishing or distributing of this fanfiction. It is purely for entertainment value. All rights for Gundam Wing are reserved by Kondo Kazuhisa and Bandai.

Warnings: AU, humor, possible OOC

Pairing: None really

Chang Wufei was not a fan of surprises. Nor was he a fan of surprise parties. In fact, he detested them. They were all a pathetic excuse to slack off duty or work that you may have to do, not to mention the stupidity that went on during these things. He just didn't have the time or patience for them! Besides, surprises, or surprise parties, were pretty much only fun for the people who were in on them.

So, when he began to suspect that Duo Maxwell had been attempting to organize a surprise party for him, he began to get worried. The other boy was annoying, he could just imagine the type of gathering _he_ would organize for Wufei's benefit. Something loud, obnoxious, with a lot of unnecessary alcohol and nudity.

Maybe he was strange for being male and of this opinion, but he did not value those things at all. Anything loud would attract attention, anyway. And he was not fond of Duo's kind of obnoxious, it was just annoying and made him want to hurt the boy in various creative ways. Nudity...naturally, as a male, he could appreciate the naked female body, however he really was not impressed one iota with women or girls that flaunted themselves like that. Wufei felt that only the woman's husband should see her that way, not a bunch of random men she would likely never see again. And alcohol, while alright in moderation, was poison to your body in excess and he really did not need to be putting poison into his body for any reason, and he was also not fond of making a fool out of himself in a drunken stupor only to wake up the next morning too sick to do what he was expected to do each day.

And had he mentioned, yet, that he was of the distinct impression that Duo had been trying to get him laid recently? He was sure Duo was behind these strange girls who would randomly come up to him and offer their services to him. Why would he think that? Because, they knew his name! And, they almost always muttered about how "he" had said it would be good money if they went to him. Who was this "he" they spoke of? He was pretty sure it was none other than Duo Maxwell, bane of Chang Wufei's existence almost more than injustice in the world! Besides, Duo had been saying quite often lately that Wufei would be a lot more relaxed if he'd get laid.

Well, he was not interested! If he took a wife again, then he would certainly "get laid," as Maxwell so eloquently put it. He rolled his eyes at that thought. Nothing Maxwell ever did or said was eloquent. In fact, most of what came out of Duo's mouth, as far as Wufei was concerned, was profoundly stupid.

And yet...despite his obviously loud denials of wanting a party at all, because nobody ought to know when his birthday was _anyway_, and how utterly ridiculous it was to be throwing a surprise party when he knew about it in the first place, and how he would rather commit suicide than enter a surprise party even if it was not meant for him...he was here, walking up to this rather large barn he had never been to before, in the middle of a field which was in turn in the middle of _Nowhere_...with Duo Maxwell. Even though he knew what was going on. There were already lights on in the barn, for Kami-sama's sake! And they were supposed to be investigating the barn while it was uninhabited! How stupid did they think he was??

This was really too much! Being secretive was one thing, insulting his intelligence was quite another! Besides, he was fully aware of the other pilots' supposedly clandestine meetings, anyway. He was not a Gundam pilot for no reason, after all! He did know how to find out about things he shouldn't know about!

"Maxwell, this is entirely ridiculous. It's time to put this to rest. I have already said, several times, that I am aware this is a surprise party, that I don't want it, and that you and the others are welcome to it. But, without me!" Wufei growled at the long-haired boy next to him as they walked up to the barn doors, which was shut, but not locked, and a bit of pale yellow light came flooding out between the somewhat small crack in the doors.

Duo sighed, as if exasperated. "Wufei, I've told you, it isn't a surprise party! I'm sorry, but you really aren't that popular." he answered, as he began to reach for the doors.

Immediately the lights went out in the barn, with the exception of some very soft pale ones he was sure were still glowing. Wufei heard himself growl softly before he looked over at Duo with a pointed glare.

The blue-eyed boy sweatdropped. "Okay...maybe a little one...but, just go in there and have fun. Everybody tried really hard to do somethin special for ya and I'm not gonna let ya ruin it." he whispered, not wanting the others to hear.

Wufei was about to protest again, anyway, but suddenly Duo opened one of the large barn doors and gave him a firm shove into the barn itself. Maxwell would pay for that!

The lights came back on with simultaneously shouted, even though he could see that most of the lights were made up of Chinese lanterns and the barn was decorated in – surprisingly tasteful – Chinese décor. It was obviously meant for a party, but it was also rather tastefully done and didn't look anything like he would have figured a party planned by the world's most uncouth person alive should've looked.

"SURPRISE!" came the shout, even though there weren't a lot of people to make the shout louder than it needed to be. And though he was surprised to see Yuy here, he really wasn't surprised that the boy had not been one of the three to shout surprise. He had, however, heard Duo's voice behind him...

Even though he still did not like the idea of a party, he would be lying if he said he didn't like it. Which did irritate him a bit, but he would be irritated about liking it later.

Oh yes, Duo would pay for shoving him in like that. And for planning this party in the first place. But...he would make him pay later. He might actually enjoy this. But, not too much!

Owari


End file.
